Old Poetry Dump

----I wonder:

I wonder what he'd think
If he knew my thoughts told me
I am still not satisfied
he is not enough
and I'm being crushed alive

When I know there's nothing
nor nobody better

Do I strive for Nothingness?
A rollercoaster of pain?
A 16 year quest ended
with no gain?

What would he think if my head
was filled with sorrow?
And he knew I would keep building it?
And it would become a mountain of sadness
in my subconscious soul?
And then affect the conscious of
which my mind says he stole?

Why must I think the thoughts
If I worry of worrying him?
And how can I restart my mind?
Clear it, begin again...


----Always Falling:

Too often I forget
All I meant to do or say
And each day I tell myself
I won't forget...
Today.

I let myself down
and drown
In thoughts of forgotten sorrow
With a flurry of wings
I hope to bring myself up...
Tomorrow.

I will end the same
Crushed and tired
Ready for sleep
My only keep
to let myself LIVE

I must live
To experience what I like
But what I don't
Brings me down, From
Life...
Is a failure of a dream
where everyone seems hurt
and yet life is worth...

More then money can buy
All the goods in the world
Allowing the bad to be burned

But ashes will always...
Make someone cough


----Clay Washes Away:

In my mind there is still a storm
It brings tsunamis into the range of my heart
Each individual breath
...From the Inside Out
......Tears me apart

A glass ceiling to my lungs
Silly putty to cover my brain
But my heart is made from Clay
People think it doesn't need a cover
...But clay washes away

The ink of this pen is my life
I write and spread it before me
I'm a jigsaw puzzle with
Some missing pieces

I'm a song that was sung
But a line was forgotten
and Never heard
And almost full moon
Just a few days away
From a full shine

A service... With no song

I'm a broken ceramic dish,
And the clay...
It washes away


----If I Were Something Else:

If I could be a snapped rubber band
I'd be better off then I am now
Because you can't snap, if you're melted down
And I've been in the fire too long

If I could be a vase that cracked
I'd have a better life
Because a crack can be filled with whatever it needs
But I am too unique
And a burnt rubber band
is easily replaced after it's been used

If I could be left alone
I think I'd be happy
I could do what I wanted
No one with power over me
No one would rely on me
Finally I'd be free

But if I were a ripped book
The only difference would be
Everyone could see
The true side of me
and
My life would be written out
Who and what I'm all about